So this is empty nesting

About 20 years ago when I was pregnant with my last child I remember doing the math to find out how old I would be when my youngest graduated from high school. I would be 50. And that was 2 years ago, but at the time it felt like I’d never get there. Here we are 2 years after his graduation and suddenly time is moving a lot faster. Or so it seems.

When my oldest graduated from high school and went out into the world to start his adult life I realized things really were eventually going to change. Of course I knew my kids would grow up and my child rearing days would end, but it suddenly felt real to me. So as my youngest turned 16 and then 17 I started preparing myself for the empty nester years. Well, attempting to prepare myself anyways. But like most things, until it finally happens you can’t really know what it looks or feels like. In January 2020 my youngest son left the nest, and just like that my husband and I were home alone. Oh the horror! Just kidding, so far it’s been pretty good and thankfully my husband and I really like each others company. And we have 2 dogs so maybe we aren’t all that alone. But there’s been a few bumps in the road I didn’t see coming and a few benefits I am thrilled to be experiencing.

I know for everyone the empty nest feels a little different. But there’s lots of things I think most people experience. Like more sleep. Gone are the days (or nights) of waiting up for my teenagers to come home. As the night owl in the marriage that usually fell to me. No more asking if homework is done, and backpacks all over the house. Not to mention shoes, jackets, socks, dishes and a hundred other things. As I’m writing this all of my bathrooms are clean and have been for a while. (I didn’t think I’d see the day) We don’t run the dishwasher everyday anymore and the piles of laundry are down to a few loads a week.

I miss having littles running around the house no matter how messy they were, and I miss the late night talks with my teenagers when they would finally come home. I miss driving them to all their things and singing our favorite songs on the way. I really miss going to their games and activities, and watching our favorite shows together. But there’s been a few other things I miss that I didn’t see coming. A few times now I’ve pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store and felt a little pang of sadness that my grocery list was so small. It felt strangely sad to walk through the grocery store and only put a few things into the shopping cart. I don’t even know why my empty nester melancholy moments manifested while grocery shopping. It’s not something I particularly enjoyed as my kids were growing up. But I suppose it was an easy way for my brain to measure the change in our circumstance. By the time I get to the self check out and realized how much less my grocery bill is, I’m already feeling better. So don’t feel too bad for me.

Every stage of life seems to bring changes. When you’re starting your family and adding new members it’s lots of excitement and joy, so the difficult parts of that change are easy to put aside. So why shouldn’t the empty nester years be the same. I am really excited about this time of my life. My children are grown and flourishing. I am spending a lot more time with my husband. And I have a village of friends and family to experience all of this with. This part of life, the later years, have always felt a little mysterious to me. I’m in the very early part of this chapter and I’m excited to see where this leads. Me and Kristen have been friends since college. We’ve watched each others families grow and laughed and cried through it all. So we decided to start this blog and write about and share some of our new adventures here. Hopefully learning some new stuff and sharing it with you. We hope you will join us along the way and share your thoughts and wisdom with us. We will probably need it!